Artwork, is, well, work.

"Untitled Spirit"
5.5x8.5
Sharpie pen

I like to think that I am more self-disciplined than the average person.  However, I still find that I could improve in this area.  For instance, I have not kept my promise of drawing something at least once every weekday.  This is clearly detrimental to my goals of becoming a professional artist, yet I have chosen not to take this helpful step.  Why?  

Part of it is fear, fear that I'm not good enough, that I'll never be good enough, and I will always work for the man.  (By not practicing my art, I very nearly ensure that this will be the case).  The latter isn't particularly bothersome, but I feel I cannot live up to my artistic potential, my creative potential, by doing so.  I have always been bound by my desire for security, and the idea of lacking a steady paycheck with benefits wrapped into it is troubling.  Still, I dream of spending my days creating and marketing my art.  It would be amazing to work with my hands and mind in synchronization.

Discipline is doing something towards a goal, anyway, no matter what.  It's recognizing the consequences of action and inaction, and working towards improvement when it would be easier not to.  The idea of art is wonderful.  For me, the creative process is exhausting.  I made two sketches yesterday, one of which is posted here.  I got to the point where, instead of refining the second drawing, I got tired.  I felt my muse run dry, the flow ebbing away to dry sand and sawdust in my mind.  This is where discipline must step in and push creativity onward, and this is where I failed.  I was done, and simply didn't want to go on any further.  I have plenty of self-discipline when it comes to cooking, cleaning, housework, staying fit, and getting myself to my day job.  When it comes to my art, it is a notable area where improvement is possible.  I've already identified that some of the housework could and should be allowed to slide to make more room for creative time.  Now it is a matter of action. 

Spirit Horse in Charcoal

"Spirit Horse"
charcoal
11x14

For the first time in a while, I drew something bigger than my tiny little sketchbook that fits in my bag and comes along to work with me. I was inspired to revisit one of my favorite sketches so far and try it out in a larger size. Using charcoal has a much different effect than mechanical pencil or pen. Here it lends a softer, more whimsical feel to the piece than did my previously uploaded mechanical pencil edition. I wasn't originally going to shade the drawing, but I took a phone call during the creative process and absently began cross-hatching the right hind leg. This isn't what a fine artist would call a "finished" drawing, but I was happy with myself that I went outside of my normal zone. Progress should be celebrated, even as a critical eye notes what could be done better.

Saguaro Spirit

"Saguaro Spirit"
pencil sketch

 I'm back!  I have done a few sketches in my (online) absence, and these are the most recent ones.  Today begins the renewal of my goal of drawing every day.  "Saguaro Spirit" is a free-hand, no reference sketch.  I was thinking of my horse, Lola, and how she often peers out of her stall down towards the pasture and the pond at the bottom.  My spirit horses seem to be the most unique and fun expression of my style, so I will probably be spending a lot more time on them.  I will eventually translate this from quick sketches to large paintings.  This style and subject would have great presence in a larger format.

"Thinking of Dali's Elephants"
pen sketch

I'd like to say that the disproportionate conformation of this horse was intentional, but it was purely accident.  My brain was probably shocked that I was asking it to draw again.  As you can see, head, neck, and body are all proportionate to one another- but something disconnected when it came to drawing the legs.  They became elongated and large, a grown horse with foal's legs.  However, it is not an unpleasant effect, and perhaps even benefits the drawing with artistic license.  I may try to replicate the style on purpose in the near future.

Ghost horse

"Wraith"
charcoal
9x13

This was a free-hand drawing that had been kicking around in my mind for a while, and I finally had the opportunity to sit in my home office and bring the thought to life.  The critic in me says that this is certainly not a finished drawing, but the artist in me asks if it has to be a finished drawing for it to be good.  It is interesting, though, that my style of drawing and my preferred subject matter is not always the sort of art I would like hanging in my home.  I suppose that our innermost thoughts are not often meant to be displayed.

Return of the Spirit Horse

"Spirit Walking"
pencil

I began this drawing by focusing on the negative space surrounding the horse, as opposed to the horse itself.  The horse in the picture captured my attention with his expression and energy at the walk.  When I first began drawing the negative space, it didn't look very good- but then as I continued, I saw that the proportions of the horse turned out very well indeed, and it helped me create a better composition than usual.  Since the reference photo was a bit blurry, I decided I would return to my previous phase of "spirit" horses and enjoy the zen-like feeling of drawing squiggly lines and shapes within its body.  I did start working on this drawing on Paint, but my patience and enjoyment was at an end- so that will be a project for another time.  I envision this horse to be all tints and shades of turquoise, with a white mane and tail, on a warm, earthen background.  The trip to the Southwest is rapidly approaching, and I hope to find some personal inspiration and guidance during my adventure.  This drawing, for me, captures that hope and possibility.

Acrylic painting- "Ancestor"

"Ancestor"
acrylic paint
4"x5"; 3/1/15

My high school was unique in that it offered a lot of art classes, which included ceramics, video, drawing, and painting.  In fact, it was during my senior year of high school that I took painting for my homeroom class, and it was the peace and focus which I felt during this class that guided me to choose visual arts for my college education.  Some brushes, canvas, and acrylic paint (BASIC brand) was provided.  The rest was up to us.

I broke out my acrylic paints to do a very small painting, and I had a blast.  With a relaxing playlist featuring such artists as Nightmares on Wax and Air, I was able to become fully absorbed in the creative process.  I began by layering blue and white paint in an atmospheric blend for my background.  Then I took a fine brush and, without any reference, freehand painted the outline of the horse figure.  Then I added the pattern in blue.  When I finished with that, the horse looked a little flat and just "blah" to me, so I went over the lines with white highlights.  This added some great highlights and needed visual interest.

I'm looking forward to doing some more painting.  My technical skills, like everything else, need refining, but it's very easy for me to embrace my creativity when wielding brush and paint.  It's always smart to learn from your mistakes, but when painting, it can be a lot of fun to learn from imperfection.

"Spirit Paint" gel pen sketch

"Spirit Paint"
gel pen
small leather sketchbook

My last gel pen died, so when I found another one on my dresser, I was perhaps absurdly delighted.  I love the clean, crisp look of ink, and my recent stylized horses lend themselves well to the medium.  Today, I was the happiest while drawing that I have been in a few weeks.  I even feel up to the commitment of drawing as frequently as the pros suggest.  Maybe it's the simple, classic black and white that helps my brain focus and engenders a sense of excitement and passion.

I'm also trying a new style of signing my name; while I do like signing my full name, I've enjoyed other artists' very simple yet elegant signatures enough to try it myself.  RCF.  Rebecca creates forever.

Wednesday Sketch

Untitled graphite sketch
small leather sketchbook

Leaping the Moon- graphite sketch

"Leaping the Moon"
graphite
small leather sketchbook

Today I was looking at videos of some eventing horses.  Cross country jumping is always impressive to look at, and the bold spirit of these horses in soaring over solid obstacles served as my inspiration.  Proudly arched necks, neatly tucked forelegs, grace and athletic power- all this I hope to capture.

It's been freeing moving away from realism, yet having a grasp of equine anatomy lends authenticity to these drawings.  On a deeper level, they are symbolic of the lines of power and life in our own bodies.  They express my journey towards finding balance in life and connection with my inner spirit.

I'm mentally turning over how to execute one of these style figures into a color painting.  Should each line be a different color?  Should I fill in the in between spaces?  One color family?  Complementary colors?  Acrylic?  Gouache?  Oil pastels?  I imagine that I'll try everything at least once to see what looks best and what works on a practical level.