"Spirit Paint" gel pen sketch

"Spirit Paint"
gel pen
small leather sketchbook

My last gel pen died, so when I found another one on my dresser, I was perhaps absurdly delighted.  I love the clean, crisp look of ink, and my recent stylized horses lend themselves well to the medium.  Today, I was the happiest while drawing that I have been in a few weeks.  I even feel up to the commitment of drawing as frequently as the pros suggest.  Maybe it's the simple, classic black and white that helps my brain focus and engenders a sense of excitement and passion.

I'm also trying a new style of signing my name; while I do like signing my full name, I've enjoyed other artists' very simple yet elegant signatures enough to try it myself.  RCF.  Rebecca creates forever.

Galloping Spirit and Remembered Passion

"Galloping Spirit"
graphite
small leather sketchbook

I read today that passions are remembered, and not found.  Looking back at my childhood, all I wanted was to be with horses.  I loved everything about them- their graceful conformation, the way they moved, their beauty and grace, their scent, and the deep connection and understanding that is possible between horse and human.  I ached for and thrived on that connection of trust, understanding, and respect.  The challenge and thrill of riding was just a bonus.

It's been over a year since the last time I have sat on a horse, the longest hiatus from riding that I have ever taken.  Something inside grows quieter every day as I give myself over to my post-graduate life.  40 hours working, 10 hours commuting, every week.  Financial obligations silence any protest I might have at this lifestyle (student loans, I'm looking at you).  I do have a wonderful life, a wonderful home, a wonderful partner.  I'll be frank: as an art major, I am amazed that I have a job which pays all my bills.  I never expected even this much.

Drawing is not something that I love.  It's a different type of relationship, a painstaking journey that I hope to love one day when I can forgive myself for not being perfect or especially talented.  It's self-exploration on paper.  I only like to draw things that I like or am interested by, not necessarily to draw for drawing's sake.

I resigned myself to the fact that it was highly unlikely I would ever have a full-time job working with horses that could also support my other wants and needs, certainly not when starting with a negative net value.  Horses require a great sacrifice of time and money.  I once was given the advice to leave my boyfriend and give up my home so that I could fully commit to gaining the experience required by the field.  I chose not to violate my comfort zone in such a manner.  I don't think it was a mistake, but now I have to be more creative in figuring out how to work horses into my life.  My desire to have my cake and eat it too will require courage to accomplish.

Triceratops Sketch

"Trike"
graphite sketch
small leather sketchbook

One day, I will have a scanner, and my readers won't be subjected to less than ideal cell phone photos.  A couple of days ago, I was thinking about dinosaurs, and about drawing a dinosaur.  When I was a little kid, I wanted to be a paleontologist.  My brothers and I watched Jurassic Park, Land Before Time, and this worn out VHS documentary about dinosaurs on repeat.  We had all sorts of toy dinosaurs; a blue stuffed triceratops has survived with us all these years.  It makes sense, given my love of nature and animals.  Dinosaurs are an extinct branch of what could have been, and also appeal to my fascination with fantasy.  It wouldn't be too far fetched to say dragons existed, but we just haven't found them in the fossil record yet.  So when my brain said, "We shall draw a triceratops," I gladly reminisced on all the excitement I felt as a child when confronted with these amazingly diverse animals.  As an adult, well, they're still pretty cool.  I can't really say the same about Fisher Price.

Pronghorn Antelope and the Creative Process

"Pronghorn"
pen
small leather sketchbook

Originally, I was going to draw a horse.  A Morgan horse, to be precise.  As I was idly scrolling through my Google image search results, I saw some baby goats standing on top of a reclining equine.  I thought to myself, "Perhaps I should continue in the vein of broadening my horizons, and draw something other than equus caballus."  "Goat" was summarily entered into the search bar, but nothing captured my eye.  Somehow my mind leapt to gazelle, and from gazelle to antelope.  I'm planning on going to the American Southwest early this summer, so I thought of pronghorn antelope.

According to Wikipedia, pronghorn are not antelope at all, but the last surviving species of the North American Antilocapridae.  Their closest living relatives include giraffes and okapi.  They were almost hunted to extinction, but collaboration between the National Audubon Society, the Boone and Crockett Hunting Club, and President Hoover helped establish a large enough game refuge which put the population on the road to recovery.  Some subspecies remain on the endangered species list, however.

I spent a little over an hour on this little sketch, working only in pen.  His nose should be a little smaller, but otherwise I'm pretty satisfied with his proportions. I will count myself very lucky if I get to see one of these guys in the wild! 

A (very rough) concept drawing

Color Concept Drawing
pen and oil pastel
11x14

It's been a while since I had the gumption to tackle a drawing on anything larger than my little sketchbook, which is only about 5"x7".  Yesterday night was a lazy Sunday night, and truthfully, I didn't feel like doing anything at all.  The February blues would have me hibernate until St. Patrick's Day if I let them.  But, it wasn't quite bedtime, so I took about fifteen minutes to sit at my actual drawing desk (it's rather funny how little I use it), pull out a large pad of drawing paper, and see what my recent experimentation with the equine form would look like in Fauvist color.

Immediately I sensed that my form was off.  My hand-eye coordination has become much better at approximating perceived shapes, but that was not the case last night.  I can live with the anterior of the horse; the photo was of a Quarter horse, with a smallish head and stocky, muscular neck and shoulders.  But everything went flibberty-gibbet when I tried to quickly sketch out his barrel and hindquarters.  My usual precision was nonexistent, and the poor horse ended up with a very awkward conformation.  Front and back appear to belong to two different animals.  I wanted to give it up right then and there (and of course I was doing the initial drawing in pen, so there would be no correcting it).  I took out my cheap oil pastels anyway and began alternating colors at random as I drew each spiral, focusing on warm colors.  Again, I like the result of the head, neck, and shoulders.  The cool colors are too dominating.  They throw off the flow of the pattern and create an almost mental disruption for the rest of the horse, which reflects in my shaky lines and imprecise pattern.

This was certainly a learning experience.  While it is good to draw and create even when you're not in the mood, it can be somewhat discouraging for an amateur like me.  Without my normal focus, it is not pleasurable and I am not motivated to fix mistakes, even as they are happening.  Continuing practice until drawing is more muscle memory for me will ease the pain of such sessions.  I will not give up on drawing more regularly, despite my winter blues.  A professional does not wait until they "feel like it."  They simply sit down at the table and have at it.

Caterpillar

"Caterpillar"
graphite sketch
small leather sketchbook

Leo said to me today that I should draw things other than horses.  While walking, I saw something that looked like a squished caterpillar, and decided that I would draw a caterpillar.  I'm not sure of the species, since I got the reference photo from wallpapers.com.  Because of its hypnotic pattern, it was difficult to draw.  Each segment had to be done a little at a time to avoid confusion.  I focused mainly on the contours and outlines of the body, and then the pattern.

I'm looking forward to warmer weather.  Drawing this was a nice distraction from the cold February breeze blowing outside!  Winter will soon unfold into spring.

Spiral Skylarks

"Spiral Skylarks"
graphite
small leather sketchbook