Clear Autumn Days

"Beneath the Surface"
HTC1 camera phone
f/2.0/ISO125/1/600s

It felt genuinely strange to not have any work obligations this past weekend.  For just over a month, I have been in the pattern of morning routine-commute-work-commute-feed pets-sleep, with Sundays being spent with family, preparing meals for the week, and catching up on chores.  This past Friday night, I came home and felt lost.  Now what?  There was no need to be up early for work on Saturday; this was unfamiliar ground.  What is this... free time... and what do you do with it?

Free time is absolutely vital to humans, and to artists in particular.  Constantly running against the clock and a schedule filled with obligations does not allow time for spontaneity or exploration.  It depletes mental energy to the point where a ten minute sketch is exhausting.  I have realized that some "necessities" will have to be put on the back burner if I want to make my art more of a priority.  Free time brings inspiration and the space to do something about it.

While on a drive through the rural countryside near my home last year, I noticed a trailhead that looked promising.  I had no plans on Sunday, and I decided that it would be a good day to go exploring.  The day had begun cloudy but by the time we made it to the trail, it was a breezy crisp day, and the sky was that special October blue.  It wasn't a very well-maintained trail, but after some bushwhacking, we were rewarded by making it to the Pennsylvania bank of the Delaware River.

We stopped for a while, just sitting on some river rocks, listening to the rapids and the wind gusting through the autumn leaves.  The view was extraordinarily picturesque.  I climbed onto a fallen tree and walked out over the shallows, where I saw a fuzzy white caterpillar, and focused on the cold breeze blowing in my face.  From there I spied a vividly colored leaf, submerged yet close to the surface.  It bobbed in time with the waves cresting through an eddy, lit up with the perfect light in crystalline waters.  I just had to get a picture.  I did some strange yoga pose with my toes touching the water, my body and arms stretched out over the pebbly shallows as I tried to get a good shot without dropping my phone in the water.  It was wonderful to pursue passion in place of necessity, even just for a precious few hours.

An Old Friend

"An Old Friend"
Sharpie pen
5.5x8.5

I came across this picture whilst browsing Pinterest, and I found myself deeply stirred.  The photo of the old dog reminded me of Star, my childhood black Labrador retriever.  I still miss her very much.  It's been said that everyone (who likes dogs, anyway) has a life dog- one special dog that none of the others in their life can compare to.  Sort of like a doggy soulmate, as it were.  I believe Star was my life dog, and sometimes the grief at her passing is as fresh as the day it happened.

It's rare that a photo or other types of artwork elicits such a response in me.  I decided to do a sketch and see what happened.  It has been awhile since I last drew from a reference photo; a lot of my recent scribbling has simply been from my thoughts.  I really enjoy using the Sharpie pen.  It's easy to elicit a sense of detail and illustration without laboring over depths of graphite.  I'm also fond of crisp, bold lines.  Growing up with Disney and lots of cartoon and anime artwork will do that.  My proportions are a bit off, and I didn't frame the dog to scale, but I'm still pleased that I had the discipline to draw it anyway. I could be good at this if I put the time into it!

Artwork, is, well, work.

"Untitled Spirit"
5.5x8.5
Sharpie pen

I like to think that I am more self-disciplined than the average person.  However, I still find that I could improve in this area.  For instance, I have not kept my promise of drawing something at least once every weekday.  This is clearly detrimental to my goals of becoming a professional artist, yet I have chosen not to take this helpful step.  Why?  

Part of it is fear, fear that I'm not good enough, that I'll never be good enough, and I will always work for the man.  (By not practicing my art, I very nearly ensure that this will be the case).  The latter isn't particularly bothersome, but I feel I cannot live up to my artistic potential, my creative potential, by doing so.  I have always been bound by my desire for security, and the idea of lacking a steady paycheck with benefits wrapped into it is troubling.  Still, I dream of spending my days creating and marketing my art.  It would be amazing to work with my hands and mind in synchronization.

Discipline is doing something towards a goal, anyway, no matter what.  It's recognizing the consequences of action and inaction, and working towards improvement when it would be easier not to.  The idea of art is wonderful.  For me, the creative process is exhausting.  I made two sketches yesterday, one of which is posted here.  I got to the point where, instead of refining the second drawing, I got tired.  I felt my muse run dry, the flow ebbing away to dry sand and sawdust in my mind.  This is where discipline must step in and push creativity onward, and this is where I failed.  I was done, and simply didn't want to go on any further.  I have plenty of self-discipline when it comes to cooking, cleaning, housework, staying fit, and getting myself to my day job.  When it comes to my art, it is a notable area where improvement is possible.  I've already identified that some of the housework could and should be allowed to slide to make more room for creative time.  Now it is a matter of action. 

Spirit Horse in Charcoal

"Spirit Horse"
charcoal
11x14

For the first time in a while, I drew something bigger than my tiny little sketchbook that fits in my bag and comes along to work with me. I was inspired to revisit one of my favorite sketches so far and try it out in a larger size. Using charcoal has a much different effect than mechanical pencil or pen. Here it lends a softer, more whimsical feel to the piece than did my previously uploaded mechanical pencil edition. I wasn't originally going to shade the drawing, but I took a phone call during the creative process and absently began cross-hatching the right hind leg. This isn't what a fine artist would call a "finished" drawing, but I was happy with myself that I went outside of my normal zone. Progress should be celebrated, even as a critical eye notes what could be done better.

5/31/15 Mini-Stirrup Changewater Schooling Show: Colby

How to order photos: 

Please email or call me with the name of the division and the number of the picture(s) you would like, in the dimensions desired.  Pricing will include the cost of the print, shipping, and labor.  I print through CVS, which is more affordable but lesser quality, or through Simply Color Lab, which is higher quality but higher price.  If you also ride at Changewater Stables, I can arrange to have the photos dropped off there since I lesson with Maren- this will negate the shipping charge.  Payment can be mailed in check form to my home address (which I will provide you with upon placing an order), or with cash if I am dropping the photos off at Changewater.

Enjoy!

Pony Scribble

"Pony Scribble"
pen sketch

In order to encourage myself to draw something today, I simply took a pen and began scribbling in my sketchbook.  As happens so often, the scribbles began to take on an equine form, and a quick drawing was built from there.  I gave myself permission to be messy, to not have perfect proportions, and allow my creativity to come to the fore.  All too often, my creativity is swallowed by other demands on my mental energy, and when I do sit down to create, I am hindered by fear of not being good enough.  I am learning how to push through that reluctance and anxiety about beginning, and accepting the changes and flaws that occur both in art and in life.  Trying is better than not taking any risks, and if I can encourage myself to draw outside of my comfort zone, wonderful things might happen- such as this little drawing!

Saguaro Spirit

"Saguaro Spirit"
pencil sketch

 I'm back!  I have done a few sketches in my (online) absence, and these are the most recent ones.  Today begins the renewal of my goal of drawing every day.  "Saguaro Spirit" is a free-hand, no reference sketch.  I was thinking of my horse, Lola, and how she often peers out of her stall down towards the pasture and the pond at the bottom.  My spirit horses seem to be the most unique and fun expression of my style, so I will probably be spending a lot more time on them.  I will eventually translate this from quick sketches to large paintings.  This style and subject would have great presence in a larger format.

"Thinking of Dali's Elephants"
pen sketch

I'd like to say that the disproportionate conformation of this horse was intentional, but it was purely accident.  My brain was probably shocked that I was asking it to draw again.  As you can see, head, neck, and body are all proportionate to one another- but something disconnected when it came to drawing the legs.  They became elongated and large, a grown horse with foal's legs.  However, it is not an unpleasant effect, and perhaps even benefits the drawing with artistic license.  I may try to replicate the style on purpose in the near future.